This article will help you evaluate the present state of your life & health and provide you with the first 3 steps to getting unstuck.
First check out your current feelings about your life:
The Feelings Zone
Despair ..Disappointed.. Dis-satisfied.. Sad.. Mad.. Frustrated.. Angry —– Satisfied .. Content.. Happy.. Fulfilled .. Joy
Which type of feeling do you have right now? You may want to add more feelings to label exactly how you feel.
The next interesting question is “How do you feel about being in that feeling ?”. Often we feel sad about being sad or at the other end of the scale, feel over the moon about joy. This, of course, compounds the feeling. And often if we are sad or angry, we want to feel happy, or at least we don’t want to be sad or angry for too long.
The first important step is to know is the present tone of feeling in your life. If no particular feeling is dominant, your daily life will probably have its share of frustration, sadness, happiness and perhaps even joy. When we are truly happy, this is usually quite obvious. However, when we are predominantly sad, frustrated or angry, this is often less obvious to the individual (but very obvious to their friends, family or co-workers!).
When you need to move up the feeling zone, you need to be aware of what your typical feelings are during a day, a week, a month. If you don’t journal, you may want to write a little each morning & evening.
How do you start the day? Looking forward to an exciting day? Dreading going back to work on a Monday morning? Full of energy ….. or needing 3 cups of coffee to get going? !
At the end of the day, reflect about the highlights & lowlights of your experiences. What were your feelings? How do you feel about the feelings?
The second step is to accept where you are at. This is fairly easy to do if you are happy & more difficult if you are angry or sad. But if you continue to feel sad about being sad, or angry about being angry, this will compound those feelings and add to the frustration in your life.
If you don’t meditate, you may want to try this exercise for the morning and evenings. Take 10 deep breaths, focus on the feeling and say to yourself “ I accept that I am feeling … sad…frustrated…angry. Byron Katie has a wonderful book called “Loving what is”. If loving is not possible for you at this moment, then try ‘Accepting’ what is. Until you do that, you will always feel unhappy with yourself and your life.
The final step is to change how you feel about what is happening in your life – if that is what you want. In order to change how you feel, you need to think and do something different! ( If you keep on doing, what you always have been doing, you will always get what you always got!)
• Step 1 – take at least 10 deep breaths. Make a sound on the out-breath that expresses & releases the old feeling. Imagine releasing it back into the universe.
• Step 2 – choose one thing new to do – take a long relaxing bath – go for walk – call a friend
• Step 3 – Do It! Check how you feel now. Appreciate yourself for doing something new.
• Repeat what worked the next day ( and be kind to yourself for any small lapses)
or choose one more new thing
Let me know if this helps or if you disagree
The next article will show how to examine your current activities in more depth, so you can get what you really want in your life, starting with improving your relationships.
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